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Never Enough

I woke up from a dream
of bottomless pit
of never enough

they say unconditional love is enough
they say it heals everything
it does not

I will love more…
it’s not enough
the abyss is empty again

I will forgive one more time…
it’s not enough
I’m the enemy again

I will understand harder…
it’s not enough
my understanding is wrong again

I will be more caring…
it’s not enough
it’s just another annoyance again

I will say what I think…
it’s not enough
my opinion is an attack again

I won’t say anything…
it’s not enough
I just don’t listen again

I will give him some space…
it’s not enough
I’m just ignoring him again

I will enter his space…
it’s not enough
I’m just an another intruder again

I will focus on myself…
it’s not enough
I’m cold-hearted bitch again

I will focus on him…
it’s not enough
I’m the evil controller again

in the bottomless pit
everything must be rejected
nothing can be received

colorful and shiny masks
flying in the abyss
posing as truth

luring the innocence
consuming the essence
leaving nothing behind

moving to the next shiny mask
good only for the time being
until the shine wears off again

illusion of strength but no true ground
only transient attention of others
to stand on in the abyss

illusion of love but no true flow
just moving masks
creating fantasy movement

illusion of direction but no true light
only shiny masks
deceiving into another trap

there is boundless space in the abyss
but no room for anyone
only for a carnival of shiny masks

I woke up from a dream
of bottomless pit
of never enough

Kasia Dodd, 2024/03/31

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